Annoy the Maou!
by Lady Von Oncins
Summary: The title of this fic explains it all.  Conrart receives a cryptic letter with a list of duties.  He can chose on person to be his partner in crime.  His partner of choice, Yozak.
1. The mystery letter

I have a complete writers block for The Dairy. I know where the story is going, but the problem is how to get there. Anyhow, I have decided to write something fun and the chapters will be short. I was reading other fanfics and I am borrowing the idea from for this short series. These events take place a year after the diary was read. Enjoy.

And the usual: I do not own KKM and blah, blah, blah.

* * *

><p>Conrart was walking towards the stables for his daily patrol of the surrounding areas. Yozak had volunteered to join him for the ride. They met up by the stable doors. Yozak had Conrart's horse ready and waiting.<p>

"Good morning captain!"

"Good morning Yozak," replied the soldier.

"I have a parchment for you. It says, 'For Lord Conrart Weller's eyes only. Anyone reading this will die a thousand horrible sandbear pounding deaths.'" Yozak handed the parchment over to Conrart. Conrart took the parchment and looked it over before opening it. He was not sure if he should open since it could have been a trap, but the statement of 'thousand horrible sandbear deaths' was one that made it seem that it was not that dangerous.

Conrart broke the seal and read the parchment. A very wicked smile graced his face and said, "Yozak would you like to be by partner in crime?" He handed the parchment to Yozak who was now intrigued. Yozak read the following.

_To the esteem and noble Lord Conrart Weller,_

_It has come under my knowledge that Shin Makoku is currently experiencing a time a of great peace. It has also come under my understanding that your Maou is actually working hard and diligently to become a great Maou. He has not skived any of his duties or lessons. I am under the impression that he is going to become quite boring._

_Therefor, if you so chose to, your mission along with one partner in crime is too completely and utterly annoy the Maou. Attached is a list of that you and your partner must use to annoy him._

_Sincerely and Respectfully,_

_Mr. I Want My Revenge_

Yozak read the list and whistled. "So Conrart are you accepting the mission?"

Conrart mounted his horse. "What do you think my dear partner in crime?"

Yozak mounted his horse, "I was actually thinking of finding some excuse to go and spy on someone. It was getting pretty boring around here. Do you know who wrote this?"

Conrart looked at his friend, "Who cares!"

And with that the two horsemen went for their morning ride plotting the first objective on the list.


	2. Macarena

Mission number 1: Do the Macarena.

Yuuri woke up to the sounds of birds tweeting. He looked to his side, only to find that his partner, Wolfram, had already arisen. He got out of bed and quickly changed, thinking he had over slept. Why hadn't Wolfram awakened him? Why had not Conrart and Gunter come?

He walked out of his room into the hall. He saw to soldiers on their patrol. He greeted them and the greeted him back by singing, "OHHHHH Macrena…doo doo doo doo…." As they did the Macarena line dance.

Yuuri looked at them utterly befuddled. He smiled at them and scratched the back of his head in completely confusion. Where these guys nuts?

Yuuri did not meet anyone else has he made his way to the dinning room. When he arrived he could hear people chatting. Everything seemed normal. He opened the door and saw Wolfram, Conrart, Celi, Gunter, Yozak and Greta all seated at the table. Normal enough! He made his way to his seat and said, "Good morning everyone!"

The response he received was not what he expected. There was no good morning. There was no "Your MAAAAAAAAAGISTY!" There was no "You're late wimp!" What he did receive was the room's occupants arising from there chairs and lining up in a line and starting to sing and dance:

_Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena__  
><em>_Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena__  
><em>_Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena__  
><em>_Hey Macarena…_

…_._

They continued to singing and dancing until the finish of the song. Yuuri's mouth was dropped opened during the song. A hundred flies could have taken up residence. When the finished, and without a word, the performers returned to their respective chairs and continued with their breakfast. What was up with that? Had one of Anisina's experiements gone wrong? He decided to stay quiet and see what he friends would do next.

Doria went over to and served Yuuri. "Good morning Doria," he said. She said, "Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena, HHHHHEEEEYYYY Macrena!" She departed while dancing the Macarena.

Yuuri quickly finished his breakfast and made a run for the sanctuary of his office. Along the way he dared not speak to anyone. He opened the door to his office, ran in, and quickly shut the door. He turned and saw Gwendel. Yuuri looked at the man in fear. If he said good morning, would Gwendal start to sing and dance the Macarena? Shinou forbid! He had to see. "Ehhhh, good morning Gwendal."

"Grunt!"

Phew, Gwendal seemed to be not affected by the Macarena fever, and he walked to his desk. "Um Gwendal do you know why everyone is doing the Macarena?"

The stoic man looked at his king and replied coldly "Childish pranks!"

"So someone put everyone up to this! I bet it was Murata and Shinou!"

The general took some papers from the desk and walked towards the exit. "You are mistaken." He opened, turned to his king and said, "Hey, Macarrenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Oish!" He closed the door behind him.

Yuuri ran to the door and locked.

The morning went by quietly has he went over his paper work. He heard the troops start their morning exercises. He looked out of his window for a quick look and…..

The troops had lined up in front of his window. They all began to sing and dance the Macarena. What was even more annoying than the song at the point, was the Conrart was conducting the music and Yozak was leading the troops. Could the day get worse!

By mid afternoon, and after Yuuri stealing food from the kitchen (dare he not in counter a Macarena fanatic), Yuuri had locked himself in his office. Wolfram had come by demanding to let him in while singing the now extremely annoying song. Gunter had come by wailing "OH Macarena." Greta just sung the song through the door. Conrart and Yozak serenaded him with a reggae version of song.

By early evening the singing and dancing seemed to have ceased. Oh was the poor Maou ever wrong. As soon as the sun set, fireworks went off, and the Macarena blared out of giant Let-You-Hear-Me-Loudly-Kun through out the castle and into the village. All the residents of the castle and village below began to sing and dance along. This lasted until it was time to go to bed.

A very annoyed Maou made his way to bed. Once he arrived he noticed that Wolfram was already in bed. Yuuri quickly changed into his pyjamas and slid under the covers. He closed his to sleep, but one thing kept him from sleeping. The annoying song was now stuck in his head. Without realising it he began to him it. For his humming he received a hard slap on the head from his partner.

"Stop humming that annoying song you WIMP!"

* * *

><p>If you don't know what the Macarena and would like to know you can find it on Youtube.<p>

I chose Conrart to be the one to accomplish the missions because he is always the one that is teasing Yuuri the most. He is also the one with the most wicked sense of humour although he can not say puns or sayings.


	3. Because, Because, Because!

Mission 2: The Why Quest?

Yuuri woke up to the presence of breathing over his face. He slowly opened his eyes to see if it was Wolfram. To his surprise he saw a mop of orange hair and brilliant blue eyes. "GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He pushed the covers away and fell to the floor on his behind. Yozak let our a chuckle. "Why did you do that for?" asked Yuuri.

Yozak gave him a perplexed look and said, "Whyyyyy did you fall out of bed?" Then he strolled out of the room. Yuuri groaned. Please don't let it be another day like yesterday he mumbled to himself as he rubbed his sore butt.

Yuuri made his way to breakfast without further incidents. He entered the dinning room to find Gwendal, Greta, Celi, Gunter, Conrart and Yozak having breakfast. "Good morning everyone. Um, where is Wolfram?

Conrart answered, "Whyyyyyy do you ask?"

Yuuri sat down. "I haven't seen him this morning."

"Whyyyy haven't you seen him this morning?" asked Yozak.

"He was not there when you woke me up."

"Whyyyyy was he not there?" questioned Conrart.

"How would I know why he was not there!"

Yozak was about to say something when Gwendal interrupted, "Wolfram has patrol today. He'll be back tonight. Why don't you know his schedule?"

Yuuri looked at Gwendal, grabbed his plate, and left for his office.

Yuuri was quietly reading over some boring documents and signing the ones he approved. Gwendal was sitting in front of him checking the documents that Yuuri signed. The door to the office opened and Conrart and Yozak entered.

Conrart was the first to speak up. "Your Majesty, whyyyyyy is your hair black?"

"Uh?"

Then Yozak asked, "Why are your eyes black?"

"What?"

Conrart and Yozak traded questions: "Whyyyyy is your uniform black?" "Whyyyy is the world round?" "Whyyyyy are there starts in the sky?" "Whyyyyy ware you wearing brown shoes?" "Whyyyyy are is the moon round?" "Whyyyyy…..?" "Whyyyy?" "WHYYYYYYYYYY?"

After a barrage of "Why" questions, Yuuri's left eye started to tick and he decided to ignore the two annoying men. He signed documents without looking at them. Seeing that Yuuri was now ignoring them, Conrart and Yozak left the office in a pout.

Gwendal looked at the signed documents. "Excuse me Your Majesty. Whyyyyyyy did you sign this document?"

"UUUUUHHH?"

"You just volunteered to be Anissina's lab rat," Gwendal said with a large smile on his face.

"WHAAAAATTTTT?" Yuuri made a move to take the document away from Gwendal, but Gwendal made a mad dash for door, ran down the hall yelling, "I AM FREEEEEEEE!"

Yuuri decided that the best course of action was just to ignore everyone.

Wherever Yuuri went that day, either Conrart and Yozak you jump in front, in back, off to a side and ask an annoying "Why" question.

It was late and Yuuri's head ached from the day's annoyance. He had managed to ignore Conrart and Yozak all day, but was on the brink of having a Maou Mode moment. He was about to reach his bedroom when Yozak and Conrart jumped out of the shadows. Both of them simultaneously asked, "Whyyyyyyy are you going to bed?"

That was it!

"WHY ARE YOU TWO ASKING ANNOYING WHY QUESTIONS?"

The accomplices looked at each other, nodded, grinned, turned to Yuuri and singed song, "BECAUSE WHYYYYYYYY?" They latched onto each others arms, skipped down the hallway merrily, while sing to the tune of 'We are off to see the Wizard', "Because, because, because, because, oh Why because, because…."

Yuuri just wanted to cry. He entered his room, changed into his pyjamas, slid under the covers, and hid head under a pillow. After a while he heard the bedroom door open. He poked his head out cautiously and was relieved. It was Wolfram. He got out of bed, ran to Wolfram, and gave him a tight hug. "It has been horrible Wolf. Conrart and Yozak have been annoying me with "Why" questions all day.

Wolfram gently pushed Yuuri away, and SLAPPED him hard on the head. "Whyyyyyyyyyy are you such a wimp?"

* * *

><p>I remember when I was a kid going around annoying others with the 'Why' questions and then answering 'Because Why.'<p>

Why?

Because!

Because Whyyyyyy?

Beeeeecaussssssssssse!

Whyyyyy ?

Because!

Why?


	4. Hands that talk

Mission 3:The hand.

Yuuri had awakened early. He left Wolfram asleep in bed. He quickly changed, and headed towards the dinning room. He sighed in relief once he entered the dinning room. He had not met anyone on his way there, and no one had arrived yet. He was all alone. He could finally have a peaceful breakfast.

Sangria entered the dinning room quietly and served Yuuri his breakfast. He did find one thing odd. Sangria had not greeted him. In turn he decided to greet her first. "Good morning Sangria."

Big mistake!

Sangria turned her head away, extended her arm towards the Maou, and palm facing him and said, "Talk to the hand!" She began to leave. Yuuri was not going to put up with it any more. "SANGRIA!"

"Talk to the hand!"

"Okay, HAND! Who the HELL told you to talk back to me?"

The hand answered back, "Your Majesty should not use profanity, and to answer your question it was Lord Weller and Sir Gurrier who gave the order." The hand gulped. It was only doing what it had been instructed.

"Thank you hand," replied Yuuri and began to eat his breakfast. He began to think. So it was Conrart and Yozak behind all the annoyances. How was he ever going to defeat those two? There had to be someone behind it all. Could that person be Murata? Shinou? Nah! They knew better! The pranks were more Conrart's style. Yuuri shook is head. He would just play along if he had too. No reason to get annoyed. Right? He would just have to beat them at there own game.

Gwendal entered the room. "Good morning Your Majesty."

Yuuri turned away and showed his palm to Gwendal. "Talk to the hand!"

Gwendal coldly stared him down. "That is quite rude to say to someone you has just wished you good morning!"

"Sorry Gwendal"

"Talk to the hand!"

"Groan!"

Conrart entered the dinning room, "Good Morning!" He received a welcoming reply from Gwendal, and a glare from Yuuri. "Is something wrong Your Majesty?" Yuuri shook is head, and continued to quickly eat his breakfast.

Celi, Greta, Gunter, Wolfram, Anissina, and Yozak entered the room. All at the same said, "Goooood Moooorning Your Majesty?" Yuuri bit his lip. They were not going to make him talk.

"Did a dragon catch your tongue?" asked Yozak.

Yuuri shook his head.

Wolfram went up to him with a look of love and concern and asked, "Are you feeling alright Yuuri?" He placed his hand on Yuuri's forehead.

Yuuri looked up at Wolfram. He trusted Wolfram not to sink to the low life levels of Conrart and Yozak. "I'm fine Wolf."

Wolfram SLAPPED Yuuri right across his head, and shoved his palm in Yuuri's face. "Talk to the hand wimp!"

The rest of the morning, Yuuri spent avoiding as many people as he could. During work hours he would write out any replies to questions or comments Gwendal had. At lunch time there was a knock at the door. Gwendal was about to say something when the door banged opened. Gwendal's nightmare stood at the entrance. Gwendal gulped. Anissina smiled brilliantly while holding up a parchment. She marched right up to Yuuri. A silent scream escaped Yuuri's mouth. Gwendal let out an evil laugh. "You are mine Your Majesty!" Anissina said has she waved the volunteer parchment in front of Yuuri. She grabbed hold of his jacket collar and dragged him out of his office.

"Gwendal helllllllllllllllllp," Yuuri pleaded as his heals dragged across the floor.

"Talk to hand Your Majesty."

Conrart and Yozak watched as Yuuri was being dragged away and entered the office. Conrart just had to ask, "Gwendal how come his Majesty was dragged away and not you?"

"Your annoying 'Why' questions from yesterday made him accidentally sign an Anissina volunteer form."

"OOOOHHH," said both soldiers.

"When you first asked me to help in your childish pranks I thought how annoying. But seeing the results, and if you need any further help, I am at your service." He smiled wickedly at them. Years of wrinkles disappeared from his forehead. "One question, do you know who wrote the letter?"

Yozak answered, "Nope!"

Conrart then added, "Like I said - who cares!"

Far, far, far, far, far, far, and faaaaaaaaaaaaar away, a handsome-middle aged-regal gentleman looked out his full floor length office window. Said window over looked an alpine lake. "Mmmm, I should have asked Lord Weller for progress reports."

* * *

><p>I hope that is enough of a clue for my dear readers. If you figure it out...Talk to the Hand!<p> 


	5. Mobbing Yeah!

Mission 4: Flash Mobs!

Yuuri had woken up with apprehension. Instead of getting up out of bed and changing, he waited for his traitorous partner to wake up also. He was not going to let Wolfram be influenced by the two obnoxious soldiers.

Wolfram slowly opened his eyes to see Yuuri staring at him. "What?" asked Wolfram.

"Just making sure that those two have not made you a traitor," replied Yuuri.

Wolfram smiled gently and lightly slapped Yuuri across the head. "Wimp!"

They both changed. As they were about to go and eat breakfast, Yuuri grabbed Wolfram's hand. "I'm not letting you go anywhere today."

"**I personally promise not to partake in any of their, if there are, activities today**," Wolfram reassured. He squeezed Yuuri's hand back.

They both walked to the dinning room hand in hand. They entered the dinning hand in hand, and the sat down hand in hand. Wolfram tried to let go of Yuuri's hand, but Yuuri resisted. "Yuuri, I would like to eat my breakfast with both hands if possible."

"Oh," was Yuuri's reply. Hesitantly he released Wolfram's hand. He looked around the table and noticed two very annoying people missing. "Gwendal where are Conrad and Yozak?"

"I sent Yozak to the village to check on a minor disturbance. I have Conrart patrolling the castle today. He is also checking up on training. Those two should be gone all day, therefore there should be no annoyances today," replied Gwendal. Yuuri let out a sigh of relieve. "Thank you Gwendal." He chomped down on his breakfast happily.

Wolfram broke the silence in the room. "Yuuri how about if you go into town today? Is that alright Gwendal?"

Yuuri's faced beamed at Gwendal. He gave him is best goofy puppy dog smile. Gwendal looked at the two young men. How could he resist that smile? "I don't see why not. I breath of fresh air will do you good Your Majesty. I just need for you to sign a couple of documents."

After signing just two documents, Yuuri and Wolfram left for the village on their respective horses. They arrived in the village, left their horses at the stables, and went for a stroll. They walked around the stalls at the market place. Yuuri found a cute bracelet, and was going to ask Wolfram if he should get it for Greta when he noticed that Wolfram was no longer by his side. He looked around and saw him looking at a shop window. Yuuri began to walk towards Wolfram when all of the sudden drum beats started to blare out of nowhere. All the stall keepers, shop owners, and villagers surrounded Yuuri. An orange hair, bare chest, Native American, head dress and all, pointed his finger at Yuuri and everyone began to dance and sing:

Young man, there's no need to feel down  
>I said young man, pick yourself off the ground<br>I said young man, 'cause your in a new town  
>There's no need to be unhappy<p>

Young man, there's a place you can go  
>I said young man, when you're short on your dough<br>You can stay there and I'm sure you will find  
>Many ways to have a good time<p>

It's fun to stay at the

(_The Native American grabbed Yuuri by the arms and…)_

Y.M.C.A  
>It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A<br>They have everything for young men to enjoy  
>You can hang out with all the boys<p>

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.  
>It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.<br>You can get yourself clean you can have a good meal  
>You can do whatever you feel …<p>

.

When the song finally ended everyone dispersed. They all return to their regular duties as if nothing had ever happened. Yuuri felt like a beaten up doll. He looked around for Yozak, but he was gone as quickly has he had appeared. He looked towards Wolfram who had an impatient look on his face. Yuuri frowned and double stepped his way over to him. "Wooooolfraaaaaaaaaam!"

"What!"

Yuuri was face to face with Wolfram. "You promised me that you would have nothing to do with Conrart and Yozak!"

"**May I remind you - that I did promised you - that I would PERSONALLY not partake in any of their annoyances!** Did you see me sing and dance? Did you see me make a fool out of myself? Really Yuuri you could have just stepped away!" He slapped Yuuri on his head. "You wimp!

"But, but you knew!"

"Actually I did not! Conrart suggested to me that I take you out for a stroll in the village. After spending half of yesterday in Anissina's lab, I guessed that it would be good for you to get away."

"You should have known that they were up to something!" said Yuuri now in full exasperation mode.

Wolfram rubbed his chin, "Well I did find it odd that Little Big Brother would let you come without him tagging along." He smiled annoyingly sweetly a Yuuri. Yuuri turned a headed back to the stables. Behind him Wolfram smirked.

The reached the village stables, mounted their horses and Wolfram said, "Let's head back to the castle for a nice picnic."

Yuuri pursed is lips, narrowed his eyes, and said, "Was that one of Conrad's suggestions?"

Wolfram pointed out, "Actually he said that after having a nice morning in the village, we should have a picnic in the back gardens."

Yuuri turned his horse in the opposite direction. "We are going to visit Murata! I have not seen him a few days."

Wolfram just shrugged his shoulders.

They arrived at the temple. The gates opened to welcome them. "Your Majesty it is a pleasure to see you. Lord von Bielefeld welcome. Are you here to see the Great Sage?"

"Yes we are. Can you lead us to him?"

"Yes Your Majesty, please follow me," the guard said sweetly. Yuuri and Wolfram looked at each other in wonderment. How unusual for a temple guard to just let them in without giving them the third degree.

They followed the guard through the maze of corridors into the central court yard. Both Yuuri and Wolfram stopped on their tracks when the saw Murata. He was dressed head to toe in a white thick paper hazemat suit slumped over inside the empty central fountain. In his hand was a toothbrush which he was dunking into a pail filled with soapy water. With the soapy toothbrush he was scrubbing the crevasses of the fountain. "Eto, Murata?" called out Yuuri.

Murata turned and saw hope. "Shibuya, von Bielefeld!" he exclaimed happily. "I have been stuck cleaning the temple for the past six days! Please tell me a war has broken out or something, and that you need to use my wise and genius planning?"

"Wellllll, actually no. We just came to visit. But, I see you are busy. So we'll be leaving," replied Yuuri. Better leave quickly before he had to start cleaning. He began to search for Wolfram's hand, but he was not there. Yuuri looked around for him and saw that he was being pulled away by one of the maidens as she handed him a pillow. Then he noticed that maidens holding pillows were beginning to pour into the court yard. A whistle sounded and BANG!

PILLOW FIGHT!

The maidens hit each other, but avoided hitting Yuuri and Murata although they were caught in the middle of it all. Wolfram stood off to the side watching in amazement. Pillows flew in the air. Pillows broke apart. Feathers danced in the air slowing falling to the ground. Five minutes later a whistle sounded and the pillow fight came to an abrupt ending.

Yuuri and Murata were left standing in the middle of the court yard covered in feathers looking like chickens. Wolfram was still innocently standing off to the side holding his 'non-used combat weapon'. Yuuri turned to Wolfram. Wolfram dropped the pillow. Murata looked at Yuuri. Yuuri looked Murata sensing an angry spirit arising. Murata looked at Wolfram. Wolfram bit his lip. "SHIBUYA?"

Yuuri mad dashed towards Wolfram, grabbed his hand, Wolfram dropped the lethal pillow, and they made a run for it. They ran through the maze of corridors hearing Murata scream, "GET BACK HERE YOU TWO. YOU ARE HELPING ME CLEAN THIS MESS!" They jumped on there horses and made a quick get away.

They rode hard to the castle while Yuuri left a trail of feathers in is wake. They brought their horses to a screeching halt as soon as they entered the gates. Yuuri jumped off his horse and, "WOOOLRRRAMMMM?"

Wolfram dismounted and, **"**Firstly,** may I remind you - that I did promised you - that I would PERSONALLY not partake in any of their annoyances!** Secondly, it was NOT my idea to go to the temple, and thirdly I did not partake in the pillow fight. I had no knowledge of any event taking part at the temple." He crossed his arms and pointed his nose upward.

Yuuri turned towards the castle, "I'm going to take a bath!" and stomped off.

Wolfram watched Chicken Yuuri walk away, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Conrart approach. He looked at Conrart and said, "The Great Sage was hit!"

"I guess some collateral damage can not be help," and he walked off with a smirk.

Yuuri stripped his clothing, wrapped a towel around his waist, and was about to step into the olympic swimming pool size bath when the Blue Danube blared out of hidden speakers. Gunter and twenty handsome men, wearing pink sequin speedos - Gunter's matching his lavender hair, stood on the opposite side of the bath and one by one dived into the pool in synchronicity. To the music of the waltz they did the flamingo, ballet leg, double ballet leg, crane, twist, boost, circles, thrust, reversed combine spin, spin, patterns, eggbeater, and for the grand finale: Gunter was thrusted out of the water by one leg while he posed like a swan and was gracefully floated to the end of the bath. His lavender hair swayed to the breeze of the air. The music ended and all members of the synchronised swimming team left with out a word.

Yuuri turned around and decided to have a simple shower instead.

Clothing changed, clean, and feather free Yuuri walked towards the dinning room. He rubbed his eyes in a futile attempt to remove the horrifying image of Gunter in a lavender sequin speedo. Greta ran into him. "Yuuri I was looking for you. I have set up a picnic for us in the back garden."

Alarm bells rang in Yuuri's head. "I'm sorry sweetie, but I rather have lunch in the dinning room."

Greta pouted and her eyes started to swell up with tears. "But Yuuri, I made the lunch all be myself."

"I'm sorry Greta, but…"

"No BUTS! You went with Papa Wolfram to the village and now you have no time for me!" She cried her crocodile tears. "YOU ARE SO MEAN!" Yuuri felt guilty. He could hear Wolfram in his head saying _"Sucker!"_ "Okay Greta, let's have a picnic." Please let there not be another flash mob like the last one. He could not handle seeing another Gunter in speedo.

Greta had laid a blanket with a picnic basket and drinks. Wolfram was already sitting on the blanket waiting for them. Greta and Yuuri sat down on the blanket, and began to eat. The trio happily chatted away without a flash mob attack. Yuuri's tummy was full and happy: a picnic without incidence. Greta got up and asked, "Yuuri can you help me get dessert from the kitchen?

Warning bells rang. "I'm to full sweetie," replied Yuuri. _'Ha, Ha, Ha, you are not going to get me!'_

"Yuuri! How can you negate your daughter's request!" barked Wolfram.

'_Nice try Wolfram!' _ "Why don't you help her?" responded Yuuri.

"Fine, I'll help you Greta," Greta and Wolfram got up and left. Then it dawned on Yuuri, actually it hit him like a brick.

HE WAS ALL ALONE!

Servants came out from nowhere carrying baskets, and not to high above on a terrace were Conrart, Yozak and a symphony orchestra. The servants began to twirl around Yuuri as the orchestra began to play, and Conrart and Yozak began to sing:

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE

WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC

WITH SONGS THEY HAVE SUNG

FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

…

The dancers twirled and twirled around Yuuri. They pulled out flower petals from the baskets and threw them into the air to the rhythm of Conrart and Yozak's off key singing. Flower petals gracefully fell and landed onto Yuuri. When the song ended the servants, orchestra, and co-conspirators vanished with out a word or sound. All that was left was a mound of flower petals. Under the mound was the 27th Maou of Shin Makoku.

Wolfram approached and said, "**May I remind you - that I did promised you - that I would PERSONALLY not partake in any of their annoyances! **However, your daughter did not make any such promise."

By mid afternoon, Yuuri had bolted himself in his office. He had closed the heavy drapes to the window. No one could see in and nor could he see out. He had even pushed a chair against the door to make sure no one could enter. He stared at his clean desk. No paper work for him to sign. Dare he not right in is diary. Eventually he fell asleep.

There was a knock on the office door. Wolfram called out. "Wimp open the door it's time for dinner!"

No response.

"Did you hear me wimp?"

No response

"All the beings that make up the element of fire, obey this brave mazoku who summons you!"

The door swung open. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" said Yuuri. Then he noticed that Wolfram was nonchalantly polishing his nails on his uniform. Yuuri quirked an eye, pulled off his trouser belt, grabbed Wolfram's left wrist, and tied Wolf's wrist to his right with the belt. "If anything happens, I want to make sure that you are hit also!"

"How am I going to eat with one hand?"

"I don't care!" sneered Yuuri. A blue aura surrounded him. Wolfram decided it was best not to contradict him.

Dinner went without a hitch. No obnoxious singers, dancers, swimmers, speedos, nor flash mobs occurred during dinner. Yuuri finished dinner and excused himself. He decided to go to bed early pulling the attached Wolfram with him.

A soldier was slumped over at his post. He saw the royal pair walk by and said, "Braaaaaiiiiinnnnnsssss" He twisted his body and began to drag one leg. Arms stretched towards the couple he continued to say, "Brains," over and over. Yuuri took a step backwards when he felt a cold clammy hand touch his neck. A servant began to say, "Brrrrrrrrrrrrainssssssssssss….."

All of the sudden, Yuuri and Wolfram were surrounded by zombies with twisted bodies, discombobulated faces, slowly walking and dragging themselves towards them

"!"

Yuuri made a run for it pulling Wolfram along with him. They finally reached a hallway that was zombie free. "Wolfram?"

"**May I remind you - that I did promised you - that I would PERSONALLY not partake in any of their annoyances!** And, why did you drag me into it you WIMP? Wolfram whacked Yuuri on the head.

They neared their shared bedroom when all of the sudden they were surrounded by picketers. Conrart led in the chant, "Equal rights for zombies! Equal rights for zombies! Equal rights…" Yozak banged on a drum. Gwendal held a hand knitted sign that said, "Zombies have the right to eat brains!" Celi held a sign saying "Zombies are for Free Love!" Gunter's sign said, "Magnificent Zombies Rule!" Conrart sign said, "Zombies make great Maous!" And, the most irritating sign was held by Greta. "I WANT A ZOMBIE DADDY!" Yuuri and Wolfram passed them without a word. They entered their room and locked the door behind them.

"**May I remind you - that I did promised you - that I would PERSONALLY not partake in any of their annoyances -** today!"

* * *

><p>Poll time. Vote for your favourite annoyance.<p>

1) Y.M.C.A

2) Pillow Fight

3) Günter in a lavender sequin speedo

4) The Sound of Music

5) Zombie attack

6) I WANT A ZOMBIE DADDY!

7)"May I remind you - that I did promised you - that I would PERSONALLY not partake in any of their annoyances - today!"

So review / vote for your favourite. The one with the most votes will be used in the future.


	6. Paranoyia

Mission 5: Make him think that you are up to something.

Yuuri woke up, changed, and stomped out of his room. He was not going to put up with any of Conrart's or Yozak's shenanigans. He was going to make sure that those two annoying brats were not going to do anything. He was going to make sure of it. He reached the dinning room and slammed the door open. Innocently sitting at the table were Gwendal, Greta, Celi, Günter, Anissina, Wolfram, Conrart, and Yozak. He looked at Conrart and Yozak and spitefully said, "Gooooood Mooooorrrrning everyooooone!"

"Good morning Your Majesty," they all sing sang.

Yuuri took his place and Effe brought him his breakfast. He observed everyone at the table between bites. Conrart elbowed Yozak. Yuuri quickly said, "Conrad what was that for?"

"What was what for Your M-a-j-e-s-t-y?"

"You elbowed Yozak!"

"My spork slipped and I accidentally elbowed him."

"Wimp, you are being paranoid," said Wolfram as he too accidentally elbowed Günter next him.

Yuuri saw that.

Breakfast continued. Yuuri observed as Conrart winked at Yozak. Yozak winked a Conrart. Conrart nudged Yozak. Yozak tapped Conrart's foot, etc, etc, etc…

Yuuri finished his breakfast and headed for his office. Along the way he saw Yozak talking to a guard. As soon as Yozak saw Yuuri, Yozak walked in the opposite direction. Then Yuuri saw Conrart talking to a maid, and Conrart did the same thing as Yozak. Yuuri knew right there and then. The two brats were up to something. They were not going to get him today!

The day passed with Yuuri at full alert when he saw Conrart and Yozak. They both acted suspicious every time they saw him. By nightfall Yuuri was quite impressed with himself. He had not yet been annoyed by Conrart and Yozak. Yuuri entered his bedroom. Wolfram was sitting on the bed.

"Yuuri you have acted quite paranoid today," said Wolfram.

"I may have seemed paranoid, but those two idiots did not get a chance to annoy me!"

SMACK on the head. "Wimp! Don't you get it? They made you think that they were up to something, when they were not! Making you look like a paranoid moron! They accomplished their mission!"

Yuuri wanted to die!

* * *

><p>I did this once to a former boss of mine on April Fools day. (I was known as the ultimate pratical joker) At the end of the day he came up to me and said, "We did not get me!"<p>

I said, "April Fools!"

"UH?"

"I made you look paranoid." I left him with his mouth wide open to the laughter of my co-workers.


	7. 2 for 1 Special

Conrart and Yozak looked over the next mission on the list – a two for one special! This particular mission, although it could and that would be boring, had to be done over a span of a few days. Yozak looked at Conrart and authoritavely said, "I'll write the notes!"

"I would like to write one!" said Conrart.

"Conrart if you write one, they will know! Sorry to say but you're too obvious. Admit it!"

Conrart nodded in defeat.

Mission 6: The Maou has a Secret Admirer

Yuuri had resigned to the fact that Conrart and Yozak could not be stopped. Hence, he decided come what may. Ignore what the day brought. And the day, so far, brought nothing.

It was the early evening hours and Yuuri was talking to Gwendal about a proposal for an expansion on a bridge. They were looking at plans along with Günter and Wolfram. There was a knock on the door.

"Enter" said Gwendal.

A soldier entered the room hidden behind a giant floral arrangement. The room occupants looked at the advancing arrangement. "Put it on the side table" said Günter. The soldier did so. As soon as he placed on the table, the occupants of the office saw it was Dacauscas that had been hidden behind the arrangement. Dacauscas excused himself a left.

The four men went over to the beautiful floral arrangement. All wondered who could it be for? Who was the person who sent it? Gunter found a card and pulled it out. He opened it and read,

For His Majesty King Yuuri Shibuya

My Most Beloved

_I tried to tell you but I failed once again,  
>I truly can't have you simply being my friend,<br>I dream of you nightly, and even during the day,  
>I wish I could just tell you that I feel this way.<em>

_Your beautiful smile, that hair, those lips,  
>Mmm, just the thought of gently caressing those hips,<br>Every time you pass by I simply have to pause,  
>Although there has to be some, I can't see any flaws.<em>

I have to keep my identity a secret,

Let not Lord von Bielefeld roast me.

A secret admirer

As Günter finished the poem all eyes were on Wolfram.

WHACK AND DOUBLE WHACK. "YOU CHEEEEEEEEEEATERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

* * *

><p>I do not own the poem. It is by Chosen1110 in Helium dot com.<p> 


	8. A Viable Threat

Conrart and Yozak wondered what the note meant by "Eagle". They knew it was bird – a majestic bird at that. But what did protect Eagle at all cost mean? They scoured the castle's library but found no answer. Then they come up with the brilliant idea to ask the Great Sage. Surely, 4000 years of knowledge would lead them in the right track. Plus, he could also help them decipher some of the other strangely named missions.

The merrily went to see the Sage. They found the Sage reading by a sparkling clean fountain. He did not seam to be too happy to see them. With trepidation the asked him what 'Eagle' meant?

**Mission 7: Protect Eagle at all cost!**

Yuuri felt a soft push on his shoulder. "Your Majesty please wake up." Another soft push, "Your Majesty you need to wake up!" Yuuri fluttered his eyes open. He was about to scream when a hand covered his mouth. Standing over was a man in a dark grey suit. Yuuri blinked once, twice, and thrice. Why was Günter wearing an earth style suit? And what was that in his ear that spiralled down the back of his neck and under his jacket? And why was Günter talking into his left sleeve cuff?

"Eagle is awake. Repeat Eagle is awake. Awaiting further instructions?" Gunter listened in to his earpiece. "Your Majesty is requested to change and go to General Plushy's office."

"Uh?"

Suddenly a mop of orange popped out from under the bed. "Special Agent Snow – all clear under the bed."

"Thank you Special Agent Orange." Special Agent Orange was wearing an electric blue mini skirt suit with matching heels.

Yuuri groaned. "What do you think you are? Naicho? CIA? MI6? KGB?"

Special Agent Orange answered, "Sir, we are DSS - Demon Secret Service."

"We apologise for inconvenience Your Majesty, but can you please dress and follow us to General Plushy's office?"

Yuuri decided to play along and started to change and chose a black suit that he had bought in Zurich along with a black tie and white shirt. All he needed was his pair of D&G black glasses and would he look like an agent himself. Were where his glasses?

He asked Special Agent Snow, "I can see why he is Special Agent Orange, but you are you Special Agent Snow?"

Special Agent Orange responded quickly, "His original handle was Special Agent Flakey, but he threw a fit! So, Special Agent Old Wise Man, Wise for short, came up with Snow." Yozak leaned over and whispered into Yuuri's ear, "Snow flake – get it?" Special Agent Orange nudged Yuuri who covered his mouth in a snicker. Special Agent Snow shot them a death glare.

Special Agent Orange opened the door and looked out into the corridor. "All clear! Special Agent Hazel-Nut is waiting outside." They walked outside, and as Yuuri figured who Special Agent Hazel-Nut was. He was wearing a boring dark brown suit. The three special agents flanked Yuuri and escorted him to General Plushy's office. Along the way Yuuri wondered why Gwendal's handle was General Plushy.

When they arrived at the General's office, Special Agent Snow knocked on the door. A stoic "enter" was heard. They entered General Plushy's office and Yuuri answered his own question. The office had been decorated with annoying plushy toys. Stuffed toys, if the could be called that, lined the walls of the office.

General Plushy was seated behind his desk. Yuuri noted that the General was wearing an Earth style general's suit. Medals and decorations lined both sides of his beige jacket. The General rose from his chair (the medals jingled). "Your Majesty, I apologise for waking you up so early, but something urgent has arisen. Please sit down." Yuuri sat in the chair in front of the general's desk. General Plushy continued. "Last night we received a threat on your persona. Said threat is real. I will emphasise the word real. This is not a joke!" General Plushy pushed a folder towards Yuuri. Yuuri opened the folder that was labelled TOP SECRET. In it he found a cut and paste note in pink and yellow that said the following:

**MAOU**

**TODAY IS YOU LAST**

**I WILL GET YOU AT ALL COST**

Yuuri read the note and said, "Come on guys we all know who wrote this note." He pointed towards Special Agents Hazel-Nut and Orange.

"The truth is Your Majesty, I received the note last night," said General Plushy.

"You actually think this is real?" asked Yuuri.

General Plushy rubbed his left temple. "Yes I do!"

Yuuri gulped. "If the threat is real, why all the get up?" he asked.

"Actually Special Agent Old-Wise-Man can explain that better," said General Plushy. Special Agent Old-Wise-Man appeared from behind a large (giraffe/shark) plushy. He was dressed completely in black like Yuuri, but wore a black turtle neck instead of a white shirt and tie.

"Shibuya, the threat is real, and General Plushy; I would prefer to go by Special Agent Wise for short." Special Agent Wise pushed his gleaming glasses up his nose. "Shibuya, when the threat was received I was notified immediately. Special Agents Hazel-Nut and Orange had been planning a new style of security measures as seen on Earth by Agent Hazel-Nut. Seeing that the threat is genuine, it was determined that now would be good time to implement the new measures."

General Plushy continued, "Since I am not that well versed in Earth security operations, I have appointed Special Agent Wise to be in command until the threat is over. Special Agent Wise you may continue."

Yuuri groaned. He knew that Murata was not going to let him off the hook, that easily, after the pillow fight. "Okay so what do I need to do?" asked Yuuri.

"You go on with your regular daily agenda. Special Agent Bishonen has been appointed to be with you at all times," said Special Agent Wise as he pointed towards Special Agent Bishonen. Yuuri had not noticed Special Agent Bishonen leaning against the back wall. He was dressed in a dark blue suit, pale blue shirt, and a Bielefeld blue tie. Yuuri's mouth dropped open. He had to admit it. Special Agent Bishonen looked damn good! Wait a second, were those his D&G sunglasses that Special Agent Bishonen was wearing? Special Agent Wise leaned over and whispered, "Actually our first choice was Special Agent Hazel-Nut. But we came to a compromise with Special Agent Bishonen. He wanted to be your assigned body guard and be known as Special Agent Verlobte von König. I told him he could not have both and threw a fit. We eventually came to a compromise as you can see."

"I see. Does he know what Bishonen means?" whispered back Yuuri. Special Agent Wise winked and shook his head negatively.

Special Agent Wise continued, "So with that said, I shall continue with the operation. Shibuya your handle is Eagle."

'_Just play along' Yuuri thought to himself._ "Okay. Just like the American President?"

"Yes, that is correct," said Special Agent Wise and he continued, "Special Agent Hazel-Nut is in charge of Castle Security and Defences. Special Agent Orange is in charge special forces. Special Agent Snow is in charge of logistics. Special Agent Bishonen is your personal body guard, Special Agent Poison is in charge of Science and Development department, and I, Special Agent Wise, am the Director. Do you understand?"

"Yup, but is it safe to have Special Agent Poison in charge of Science and Development?"

Special Agent Wise ignored Eagle's last question. "Excellent, I shall continue. I have devised an alert protocol. Currently we are Indigo level."

"Indigo level?" asked a confused Eagle.

"I shall explain," said Special Agent Bishonen. "It is widely known that Earth governments use colour codes to alert people of a threat status; red being the maximum alert. Being a fire wielder, I know that in actuality red is the lowest of all temperatures in the light spectrum, whilst violet is the hottest and the most dangerous in the spectrum. Therefore I have personally corrected such a misconception." Special Agent Bishonen walked over to a flip chart that stood behind General Plushy. He flipped over a page, and there was a rainbow threat list. He took a long pointer and pointed to the bottom colour and explained:

**Red: **There is no threat what so ever to the Maou's persona. Actually the Maou could walk down any street in the world and no one could care less.

**Orange: **There is no threat to the Maou's persona with the exception of having purple apples thrown at him

**Yellow**: Slight threat to the Maou's persona if he happens to cheat _(Eagle thought that should be Violet)._

**Green**: Slight disturbances nearby, causing there be a slight, but yet, viable threat to the Maou's persona

**Blue:** War has broken out.

**Indigo:** A100% viable threat as been made on the Maou's persona which must be stopped at all cost.

**Violet:** The Maou's death is imminent.

Eagle looked at the chart. He had just one question and he raised his arm. "Aren't Yellow and Violet the same?" As a response he was whacked on the head with a pointer. They were the same.

"Any further questions?" asked Special Agent Bishonen.

Eagle rubbed his sore head. "Just one, how and when did the threat arrive?"

General Plushy pulled out a ragged doll that hung by a noose. There were GASPS and OOOOs, and a fainting Special Agent Snow. It sort of looked like the Maou with blank eyes and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. "Two night patrol guards found this hanging off the castle gate with the note attached. It was brought to my immediate attention." Eagle looked at the horrific doll, and he dared not touch it. He realised right there that the threat was viable. His face went pale. Special Agent Bishonen put is hand on Eagle's shoulder. "I will not let anyone harm you!" Eagle smiled. He knew he could trust Special Agent Bishonen with his life.

**Breakfast time – The Royal Dinning Room: **

Agent Fruity Wine served breakfast. Special Agent Bishonen tasted Eagle's breakfast for poison. None found after half of Eagle's breakfast was gone. Eagle's daughter, handle name Princess, attempted to bring an extra plate of pancakes that oozed with syrup to her father. Special Agent Bishonen denied the request. Eagle left the dinning room with a semi-empty stomach. Growl!

**Morning Work Session - The Quadrilateral Office**

**Occupants: Eagle, General Plushy, Special Agent Bishonen**

Eagle busied himself reading documents, requests, petitions, rejecting, vetoing, and signing. There were only six items for his review. Eagle tapped his fingers on his empty desk impatiently. "Ummm, Gwe…eto…General Plushy is it all right go for a walk?"

"Negative!" replied General Plushy.

Special Agent Bishonen added, "We can not have you running around the castle as usual. May I remind you that there is a threat on your persona?"

Yuuri gave them both his infamous hurt puppy dog look, "Pleeeeaaasssseee?"

As General Plushy was about to cave in, Special Agent Bishonen came to the rescue. "A negative is a negative! Think of your daughter! Do you want her to be traumatised?" WHACK on the head.

Eagle rubbed his head. "Okay, Okay, I get your point! So can I go see my daughter?"

"Negative to that also! If any attempt is made on you do you want your daughter to be struck down also?" said an angry Special Agent Bishonen. _Really, how dense was king? Putting their daughter in harms way! Humph!_

"But, but, I'm boooored!" Eagle laid his head on the desk.

There was a knock on the door and a voice said, "Princess is requesting permission to enter." Special Agent Bishonen spoke into his cuff as he listened into his earpiece. The door opened, and Agent Cue-Ball let Princess enter. Princess stood in the doorway with a delicious looking giant muffin. Said muffin oozed with chocolate. "Daddy Yuuri I brought you this muffin I made," she said beaming a brilliant smile and stepping into the Quadrilateral Office.

Eagle rose from his chair, quickly dashed around the desk, and was stopped dead by someone grabbing hold of the back of his collar. Special Agent Bishonen reeled him back to his chair. "Greta, Yuuri can not have any meals unless they are approved by a Special Agent."

"But, you almost ate all of Daddy Yuuri's breakfast," Princess whined.

"I had to make sure that it was not poisoned."

"Well there is no poison is the muffin!" said Princess pouting.

General Plushy rose and took the muffin from Princess. He placed it on a side table. He turned and said, "We can taste it. If the muffin passes then His Majesty may have it." Both father and daughter agreed. General Plushy called out for Agent Cue-Ball to enter the office. Agent Cue-Ball entered. General Plushy, Princess, Special Agent Bishonen, and Agent Cue-Ball tasted the muffin.

Once the muffin was tasted, and approved for Eagle's consumption it was taken over to Eagle. Eagle looked at the muffin. All that remained crumbs! He watched as the others licked there fingers and lips. "That was a delicious muffin Your Highness," said General Plushy.

**Lunch time – The Royal Dinning Room:**

Eagle sat in is chair impatiently as Agent Pasta began to serve lunch. The first course consisted of a chicken soup. As soon as he was served, Special Agent Hazel-Nut tasted the soup for poison. When he approved of the soup, only a tablespoonful was left.

Agent Pasta served the second course which consisted of a sautéed trout with a side of stir fried vegetables. Special Agent Orange volunteered to taste the dish for poison. When he approved of the dish, all that was left were the fish bones, head, a small morsel of meat on the tail, and one singular carrot.

Agent Pasta served dessert. Special Agent Bishonen took over the tasting. Once he approved it, all that was left were crumbs.

Princess attempted to approach Eagle to give him her dessert, but was intercepted by Special Agent Snow.

The Special Agents congratulated themselves on a job well done.

**Afternoon Work Session - The Quadrilateral Office**

**Occupants: Eagle, Special Agent Bishonen**

Eagle spent the afternoon with his head on the desk. He was quite bored and starving. Special Agent Bishonen was happily reading a book. Silence was interrupted by a load sigh. "Neh, let's go outside. I'm bored!"

Special Agent Bishonen closed his book with a loud clap. "Yuuri quit being such a wimp! How are we going to protect you if you go gallivanting around?"

"Buuuuutttt!"

"No is NO!"

There was a knock on the door. Special Agent Bishonen had a conversation with his cuff. The door opened, and Special Agent Hazel-Nut, Special Agent Orange, and Princess entered. Princess was carrying a large try of afternoon snacks. Eagle's eyes let up when he saw the try of food. He salivated. "Princess has made some afternoon snacks along with a delicious looking lemon meringue pie," said Special Agent Orange.

Special Agent Bishonen went over and took the tray from Princess. He placed the tray on the side table. "Princess I assume you made all this?"

"Yes Special Agent Bishonen, but the pie is for Yuuri." She smiled brightly.

"Well thank you Princess," said Wolfram. "Would Special Agents Hazel-Nut and Orange care to join?"

"Why thank you Special Agent Bishonen." The three special agents and Princess dove right into the try of food."

Eagle stood behind the four tray predators as the devoured the tray of food. When they had finished, Special Agent Orange turned to Eagle and said, "Sir the food is not poisoned. Your may have some." Eagle looked at the try and saw that all that was left was one half eaten sandwich and none of the pie. "Never mind! I'm not hungry," Eagle said as his tummy let out a loud growl.

Princess looked at the tray and pouted. "I'm sorry Yuuri. I made the pie especially for you, and now there is nothing left."

"That is alright sweetie; you can make one for dinner okay?"

"Okay," said Princess and scurried off to the kitchen to make another dessert.

**Dinner Time – The Royal Dinning Room:**

A food deprived Eagle entered the dinning room. He had resolved to eat every last morsel of food that was served to him. No special agent, agent, princess, or general was going to deprive him of any food. If the food was poisoned so be it. He would a least die with a full stomach.

Agent Butter-Rice served the first course. Special Agent Snow was about take Eagle's plate for poison testing, when Eagle grabbed his plate, and pulled it away from Special Agent Snow. Special Agent Snow lunged for the plate as Eagle began to eat it is meal with his hands stepping around the table. Special Agent Snow gave chase as Eagle ran around the table.

Agent Butter-Rice served the second, and as with the first course, but this time - Special Agent Bishonen chased Eagle around the table. Special Agent Bishonen screamed at Eagle during the chase.

Agent Butter-Rice served dessert. For dessert Special Agents Hazel-Nut and Orange gave chase, but Eagle was too slippery for them as he finished his dessert under the table.

Once dinner was over, Princess ran to the kitchen and returned with an enormous chocolate cake, covered in whipped cream, and a cherry on top. "Yuuri, I made this for you just like I promised."

Eagle looked at the delicious looking cake and made a mad dash for it. He slipped left of Special Agent Snow. He scurried right of Special Agent Bishonen. Special Agents Orange and Hazel-Nut stood bee-line in front of his target. He had only one move left. He slid under their legs for a homerun. He had made it to the cake past all obstacles. He looked up at Princess from the floor. She raised the cake over her head and SPLAAAAAAAAAAAATTT! The cake came down over Eagle's head.

The dinning room went into frenzy. Special Agents yelled into their cuffs, "EAGLE HAS BEEN HIT! EAGLE IS DOWN - REPEAT EAGLE IS DOWN!"

All the while Princess had left the dinning room yelling, "I WIN! I WANT A ZOMBIE DADDY!"

Special Agents Bishonen, Hazel-Nut, Orange, Snow, Wise, and General Plushie stood over Eagle who was lying on the floor covered in cake form head to toe. Special Agent Orange said, "Well I guess the mission was a failure."

Special Agent Hazel-Nut added, "Princess achieved her objective."

"Uh?" responded Eagle.

"Did you even take a good look at the doll this morning?" asked General Plushie.

"In the back of the doll it said, 'My Zombie Daddy', you moron!" said Special Agent Bishonen as he whacked Eagle on the head.

"We've been trying to protect you from Princess all day," said Special Agent Wise.

"That is what you get for not following our instructions," said Special Agents Hazel-Nut and Orange in unison.

They all left the dinning room with the exception of Eagle who still lying on the floor utterly annoyed.

**Mission 7: Protect Eagle at all cost – Failure.**

**Real mission objective: Annoy the Maou - Successful!**

* * *

><p>I hope that my dear readers understand who each of the agents are. If you don't, review with the agent's name that you don't know, and I will name the agent in the next mission.<p> 


	9. Yuuri gotta a new mitt

Mission 8: I got new… …..! (Fill in the blank.)

Yuuri woke up, had breakfast, sword practice with Wolfram (Conrart had offered but Yuuri declined), lessons with Günter, and lunch. It had been basically a quiet morning. With that said the afternoon was still to come and Yuuri knew it.

Yuuri was in his office looking over some paper work that required is short term attention. There was a knock on the door and Conrart came in with a parchment. He placed the parchment on the desk. Yuuri picked up the parchment and asked, "What is this Conrad?"

"It is a requisition for uniforms for the new recruits," said Conrad.

Yuuri looked over the requisition. It looked like a standard requisition. He read every line in detail just in case Conrart was up to something. When he finished reading it, he looked at Conrart. Conrart had his elbows on the table, chin in his palms, and had a large grin on his face. Yuuri inward groaned as he signed the requisition. He handed it over to Conrart, but Conrart did not take it. Conrart's grin became larger and he wiggled his eye brows. "What is it Conrart?" asked Yuuri.

"I got new socks!" said Conrart and he took the requisition and skipped out the office.

Yuuri was walking down a hallway when he was intercepted by Yozak. Yuuri attempted not to acknowledge the half demon, but he could not get around him. Finally he asked what Yozak wanted. "I got new a new hair clip!" said Yozak and he skipped away.

Conrart later came up. "I got a new button on my jacket!"

Yozak: "I got a new dress!"

Conrart: "I got a new quill!"

Yozak: "I got a new thong!"

Conrart: "I got a new twinkle in my eye!"

Yozak: "I got a new puzzle piece!"

Conrart: "I go a new boot lace!"

Yozak: "I got a new garter belt!"

I got a new…, I got a new…, I got a new…, I GOT a new…., I GOT A new…., I GOT A NEW….

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!" Yuuri could not take it anymore. He ran to the dinning room, grabbed a plate of food and a spork, ran to his bedroom, and locked himself in.

Later, after a peaceful dinner, there was a gentle knock on the door. "Yuuri it's me!" said Wolfram from the other side of the door. Yuuri opened the door and Wolfram said, "I got a new…" Bang! The door was slammed shut on his face.

Wolfram was perplexed. He wanted to shout wimp, but stopped when he heard laughter of to a side. Conrart and Yozak were laughing out loud. Wolfram glared at them. What had those two done to Yuuri? He walked over to them and showed them what he had. "I got a new catcher's mitt for Yuuri!"

Conrart shook his head whilst Yozak laughed his arse off – another 2 for 1 special.

* * *

><p>I love the 2 for 1 specials.<p> 


	10. So cute!

Mission 9: Show your king's cuteness.

Yuuri had decided to take the day off, thus he had kicked Wolfram out of their room, locked the door, and sat in bed with the latest issue of Baseball Today. No work! No lessons! No training! No annoying spy! No annoying so called god-father! No daughter screaming she wanted a zombie daddy! No partner yelling wimp! The day had so far been peaceful and quiet.

He informed everyone, during breakfast, that he would be taking the day off, and that under no circumstance, including even if they went to war, was he to be disturbed unless for meals. No one had questioned his orders since a dark blue aura surrounded him.

Yuuri sat on his bed comfortably and in peace reading his magazine. There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Yuuri.

"I have brought you your lunch Your Majesty," said Sangria on the other side of the door. Yuuri lazily got off the bed and opened the door. Sangria was standing in front of the door, holding a tray of scrumptious food, and with a cheesy smile on her face. Yuuri took the tray from her. Sangria continued to grin madly. Yuuri looked at her and asked, "Sangria are you alright?"

Sangria blushed and said, "KAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII HOW CUTE!" and ran off.

Yuuri stood in the doorway of his bedroom. He looked up and down the corridor. Off to the left a few guards stood hold what look like a newspaper. One of them said, "HOW CUTE!"

Yuuri turned around and walked back into his room, kicked the door close, put the tray down on the nightstand, went back to the door and bolted it. Then he returned to the bed, picked up his magazine, and began to read it as he picked at his lunch. He attempted to read and eat, but deep down inside of him – he knew! He knew that those two, those two, those two, were, werrrrrrrrrre UP TO SOMETHING! He threw the magazine on the bed, and munched down some food whilst his nostril flared. What had those two imbeciles done this time? He needed to calm down. He took several deep breaths, and they seamed to calm in down a little. Then he began to chant, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore….

Thirty minutes into chanting his new mantra, Yuuri heard a yell outside his window. He quickly rushed to the window to see what was wrong. Down in the courtyard were Bielefeld soldiers looking at a newspaper. Then one of them yelled, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH, SO CUTE!" All of them blushed when Wolfram showed up. Wolfram took the paper and looked at it. He too blushed when he looked at the paper. He turned to his soldiers and barked orders at them. Then Wolfram marched off whilst peaking at the paper, gently smiling and blushing.

Yuuri stepped away from the window. Maybe it wasn't that bad he thought to himself if Wolfram thought what ever it was cute. Maybe, just maybe, it had nothing to do with him. He sat back down on the bed, finished his lunch, and continued reading his magazine.

There was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" asked the secluded king.

"It's me Doria. I've come to pick up the food tray Your Majesty," said the voice on the other side of the door. Yuuri picked up his empty tray, walked to the door, unbolted it, opened it, and handed the tray to a very tomato faced Doria. She blinked once. She blinked twice. She took the tray from Yuuri, blinked thrice, and ran down the hall yelling, "HOW ADORRRRRAAAABBBBLLLLLLEEEEEE…."

Yuuri shut and bolted the door. Sat on the floor with his back to the door began his ignore mantra, "Ignore…hummmmm….Ignore….hummmmm….Ignore….hummmmm…."

Not twenty minutes later, there was a commotion out in the courtyard. Yuuri did not know if he wanted to look out or not, but curiosity, which killed the khoi, kicked in. He walked over to the window and peeked out. Out in the courtyard were all the villagers, soldiers, guards, maids, butlers, stable boys, basically everyone that worked at the castle, and of course Conrart and Yozak who were standing next to a desk and chair. Each had a newspaper in their hands, and all at the same time said, "YOUR MAJESTY IS SO CUTE! CAN YOU GIVE US YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"

That was it! Yuuri ran to the door, unbolted it, opened it, and ran down the hall towards the courtyard. He run by Gwendal who had a newspaper in his hand. Yuuri came to a screeching halt. He marched back to Gwendal, and pulled the newspaper out of his hand. He looked at the front page and screamed at the top of his lungs when he read the headline, "!"

**HOW CUTE IS OUR BELOVED MAOU!**

Below the headline were two photographs of Yuuri when he was four years old. In the first one he was wearing a cute little pink and blue dress and his hair was in pigtails. In the second one he was wearing a yellow dress, and his hair was in pigtails.

Under the photographs it read:

**His Majesty will be signing the pictures at 15:30 in the castle courtyard.**

**Special thanks to Lord Conrart Weller and Sir Yozak Gurrier**

Gwendal bashfully asked, "Can you sign it for me please?"


	11. Never make the Sergeant angry

Mission 10: Oxynous Pipila Blakasitis

It had been an uneventful morning for Yuuri. He had had is breakfast, with the two obnoxious soldiers, without an incidents. It was too soon for him to hope, but maybe those two had given him a break for the day.

It was mid-morning and Yuuri was walking towards the garden to meet-up for a friendly game of catch with his new mitt that Wolfram had given him. Yuuri planned to hit Conrart with all he had. He planned to never aim for the mitt, but for the family jewels if at all possible. It was a pity that Yozak did not play catch!

Conrart was already out in the garden when Yuuri arrived. Mr. Obnoxious had his mitt in hand and was throwing a baseball in the air and catching it. Yuuri smirked. Yuuri had brought is own ball just in case Mr. Obnoxious decided to booby trap his.

Yuuri took is place opposite of Conrart and said, "I brought my own ball. It's new. See?" I showed his new baseball to Conrart. Conrart smiled and threw his off to a side.

They started to play catch. Maids watched the good looking players. After a while Yozak joined them. Conrart tried to make smile talk, but Yuuri ignored him as he tried to go for the knees, ankle, family jewels, any part of the body except the mitt. Dragon dung the man was catching every ball. Conrart finally said, "Yuuri it seems that your aim is off today." To which Yuuri responded, "I don't think so!"

They finished their session of catch and Conrart approached Yuuri. "Thank for the game Your Majesty."

"Your welcome," grunted Yuuri. He had not had one hit on the fiend.

Conrart looked at Yuuri, and his faced paled. "Yuuri are you feeling alright?" he asked worriedly?

"Of course I am, and what are you up too?"

"I am not up to anything, it is just your eyes don't seem right some how," Conrart replied with extreme concern.

Yuuri noted that Conrart's attitude was that of great concern. "Well I do feel fine, but I have been quite annoyed recently.

"Mmmm? I wonder? I guess it is just my concern for your wellbeing. It is just that your eyes…"

"What is Conrad? What about my eyes?"

"It's nothing really, but your eyes have a glossy sheen that I have only seen once before."

"What?"

Yozak then approached the duo and said, "Hello there young master, captain!"

Conrart turned to Yozak and asked, "Yozak have you ever heard of Oxynous Pipila Blakasitis?" At the sheer mention of those three words the maids yelped and scurried off. Yozak looked around noticing the maids vanishing. He took a step back. "I have, but never seen it. Why do you ask?" He took another step back.

Conrart took Yuuri's face in his hand and turned it towards Yozak. "Look at his eyes. I have seen it." Yozak looked at Yuuri's eyes; his faced turned white as a sheet, and took five steps back.

"I think Gisela should take a look at him before you scare us all captain. Should be touching him?" said Yozak taking even more steps backwards.

Yuuri by now was extremely worried. "What is Osyn…what ever…What is it?" If this had been a joke, they would not have brought in Gisela's name.

Conrart but his hand on Yuuri's shoulder and said, "I think it is best that you go see Gisela." He started to push Yuuri in the direction of the infirmary.

"Conrad what is Osdious pipa baitis?" asked Yuuri while he was led to the infirmary.

"Oxynous Pipila Blakasitis is a very rare, dangerous, and contagious decease. A person can have it a long time without any signs, but once it presents itself…never mind. It's probably my imagination," responded Conrart. Yuuri began to be really worried. Yozak followed at a distance.

They arrived at the infirmary, knocked on the door, and walked in. Yozak followed seconds after and closed the door behind them. Gisela smiled and greeted them by asking, "Good morning Your Majesty. What can I help you with today?"

Conrart quickly responded, "Oxynous Pipila Blakasitis! I am not sure, but look at His Majesty's eyes."

Gisela's smile disappeared and her face should overly concern. She patted a bed and asked, "Your Majesty do you mind sitting here please?" Yuuri walked over do the bed and sat on it while Gisela donned latex gloves. She looked over to Conrart and Yozak and said, "You two stand by that door." She pointed to a door to the left of the infirmary.

"Let's see what Sir Weller saw," Gisela said has she took hold of Yuuri's face. She examined Yuuri's eyes. Then she let out a sigh. "Sir Weller, you are correct. This is a case of severe Oxynous Pipila Blakasitis." She turned to Conrart and Yozak and said, "I have never seen a case this rare: two people at the same time!"

Conrart and Yozak said at the same time, "Whaaaaaaaaat?"

Gisela's reply was, "Lady Anissina!"

The door behind Conrart and Yozak opened. Anissina stood in the doorway with a brilliant smile. She grabbed hold of Conrart and Yozak by the back of their collars. Gisela then said, "Lady Anissina those two have Oxynous Pipila Blakasitis!"

"Well I know how to cure that!" she said as she dragged Conrart and Yozak away.

Yuuri was completely dumbfounded. Gisela smiled at Yuuri and said, "Oxynous Pipila Blakasitis in layman's term is Acute Dummy Idiotist. Those two have a severe case of it!" She huffed and said, "That is what they get for not making me a Special Agent! I was excluded from all the fun."

Yuuri began to laugh out loud. Conrart and Yozak had their comeuppance and he had nothing to do with it. He got up from the table and headed towards the door. He stopped and said, "Gisela I can remedy your status." He turned and bowed. "Thank you Special Agent Green."

Gisela smiled brightly. "At Your Majesty's service," replied Special Agent Green with a bow.

.


	12. Maou vs Maou  part one

Mission 11: Make him believe he is no longer the Maou!

Thanks to Gisela and Anissina, Conrart and Yozak had stopped annoying Yuuri. So far it had been five glorious days of peace and quite. He had been able to eat his meals in peace. He had been able to do his work in peace. He had been able to play with Greta in the back garden in peace. He had been able to stroll with Wolfram in peace. Everything he did, and everywhere he went was just so peaceful.

On the sixth day, Yuuri and Wolfram were awakened by Conrart pulling them out of bed. "Conrad what was that for?" yelled Yuuri.

"What is up with you Weller?" screamed Wolfram.

Conrart went to the wardrobe and started pulling out Yuuri's disguise clothing. "No time to explain. Put this on Yuuri," said Conrart. "Wolfram, hurry up and change. Once you two are changed go directly to Gwendal's office for an emergency meeting." Conrart stormed out of the room leaving behind two very befuddled people.

Yuuri changed into the clothing that Conrart had pulled out and Wolfram into his uniform. "What do you think is going on? I bet it is just another joke to annoy me!" said Yuuri.

"I don't know what is going, but Conrart was not in 'Annoy the Maou' mode," replied Wolfram.

Once they finished changing the left the room and started to walk to Gwendal's office. They had walked only a few metres when Yozak came running down the hall. "Hurry up you two," he said as he was passing them. They began to run behind Yozak.

"Yozak what is going on?" asked Yuuri.

"You don't know?" he replied.

Both Yuuri and Wolfram shook their heads. "Well it is not my place to say, you better wait to hear it from the General," said Yozak.

The reached Gwendal's office and entered. They entered to find Gwendal, Conrart, Anissina, Günter, Celi, Murata, and a gauard for Shinou's Temple waiting for them. Yuuri was the first to speak up, "Hey everyone what is going on?"

Murata cleared his throat. "Shibuya…I wish I could put this more delicately…you're no longer the Maou."

Yuuri began to laugh, "Good one Murata. Did Conrart and Yozak put you up to it?"

Murata shook his head. "I'll explain. The Great and Powerful Shinou has decided that since peace now reigns over Shin Makoku, your services are no longer required."

"WHAT?"

"Therefore, you can return to Earth and live a happy life just as you always wanted."

"I SAID WHAT?"

"I don't want to repeat myself Shibuya…you are free to go," said Murata.

"WAIT ON MINUTE! Yuuri is no longer the Maou?" asked Wolfram

"That is correct," said Murata.

"But Shinou said he was not going to interfere anymore!" said Wolfram.

"He changed his mind," replied Murata. "Anyway, the new Maou is being escorted to the castle as we speak, and we should greet her with all the proper respect bestowed on her position."

"WAIT JUST ONE SECOND!" yelled Yuuri, "WHAT AM I TO DO NOW?"

"As I already said Shibuya, you can go home," answered back Murata. He left the office, and the others trailed behind him whilst Yuuri stayed behind.

Yuuri went to hold back Wolfram, but Wolfram shook his head. "I have to go greet my new Maou," he said. Yuuri stood alone thinking what kind of sick joke it was. He then decided that he would also go and greet the so called new Maou.

Everyone stood around the main entrance stairs as they watched the temple carriage arrive. When the carriage came to a stop, a temple guard walked over to the carriage's door and opened it and unfolded the steps. No one stepped out. The guard extended her hand into the carriage and said, "Your Majesty your subjects are waiting for you."

A small foot made its way to the first step, then a little hand appeared on the door itself, and finally the rest of the new Maou's body followed. "SHE'S OUR NEW MAOU?" yelled Yuuri whilst comically pointing a finger at the new Maou.

"Shibuya a little more respect please, and yes she is our new Maou: Queen Greta Marie Anastasia Cassandra Elizabeth Mercedes Isabella Rose Hadburga Shibuya Furi Harajuku von Bielefeld," said Murrata. That was certainly a mouth full of a name.

The new Maou spoke, "Greetings my fellow and loyal subjects!"

"All hail her most exceptional majestic beautiful Queen Greta Marie Anastasia Cassandra Elizabeth Mercedes Isabella Rose Hadburga Shibuya Furi Harajuku von Bielefeld. May the sun smile upon her reign, may the stars shine up on her, and may the moon grace her nights. Let it be known that from this day forth The Demon Kingdom Shin Makoku which defeated the originators…" Gunter continued with is rant as Yuuri asked Wolfram, "When did Greta get such a long name? And Hadburga?"

"Do you honestly think that I could have our daughter, the Maou, have such a common and boring name as Greta Shibuya? And the name Hadburga is a noble and elegant Bielefeld female!" explained rightly so Wolfram.

Gunter continued with is majestic rant whilst Queen Greta (for short) was led to her office, formally known as Yuuri's office, by Conrart and Yozak. The rest of Queen Greta's retainers followed behind. At the end of the pack was Yuuri rubbing his temples. A massive headache was surging.

The new Maou sat in her chair behind the desk looking ever so cute. Gwendal was about to speak when Queen Greta Marie Anastasia Cassandra Elizabeth Mercedes Isabella Rose Hadburga Shibuya Furi Harajuku von Bielefeld raised her hand and said, "Yuuri please approach."

Yuuri smiled at his daughter as he approached the desk. "Are you having fun sweetie?"

"Humph! From this day forth you will address me as My Daughter Queen Greta!" said Greta whilst looking around the office. She began to pound her fist on the desk in a temper tantrum and yelled, "I WANT A ZOMBIE DADDY!"

"We can fix that," said Conrart.

"You can?" asked the Maou.

"Simple we can have Lady Anissina turn Yuuri into a zombie."

"Then proceed Lord Weller," said the Maou. And with that, Conrart and Yozak followed orders by dragging a screaming former Maou off to Anissina's lab.

***ATM***

Yuuri woke up to loud banging on a door. The last thing he remembered was being dragged to Anissina's lab. He looked around and found himself sleeping on a cot, in a closet? "Wake up wimpy zombie!" said a voice that was not Wolfram's. Yuuri slowly rose up and banged his head on the ceiling. Where was he? He managed to find a door latch in the darkness, and opened the door. Light streamed in. He realised that he was not in a closet, but in a cupboard under a staircase. "What am I doing here?" he asked Conrart who stood looking at him with an annoyed look.

"That is your new room!" explained Conrart.

"What about my room?"

"Do you think we can have a zombie sleeping just anywhere?" Conrart then took a good look at Yuuri and said, "Still not a zombie!" He began to walk away, "Her Majesty is in the throne room waiting for you."

Yuuri noticed the old torn up clothing and holes in shoes that he was wearing. "What happened to my clothing?" he asked as he followed Conrart.

"That is your standard zombie clothing," replied Conrart as he led Yuuri to the throne room. They arrived at the doors of the throne room and before they entered Conrart said to Yuuri, "I know it was the Queen's wish to turn you into a zombie, put unfortunately that would require for you to be dead…."

"I appreciate that you didn't KILL ME!"

Conrart ignored the zombie and continued, "Therefore we recommend that you act like one – you know walk crooked, moan, and say braaaaiiiinnnsss." Conrart opened the door and they walked in.

Yuuri thought he died and gone to plushie hell! The throne room had been painted sunshine bright yellow and Gwendal's plushies decorated every nook and cranny of the room. Greta sat on the throne. She was wearing the pinkest, the most laciest, the most ruffled dress Yuuri had ever seen. On her head was a bright fuchsia crown the sparkled (what else) pink power! To her right sat Wolfram with a book in his lap, to her left stood Murata, and behind her standing was Yozak in a pumpkin orange dress.

"Your Majesty I have brought you your zombie daddy," Conrart sad as he pushed Yuuri foreward. Conrart side whispered, "Don't forget what I told you."

Yuuri contorted his body, started to approach Greta whilst dragging one leg, he moaned and said, "Brrrrraaaaiiiiinnns!"

Greta jump off the throne, grabbed the book from Wolfram's lap, and ran to Yuuri. "Zombie Daddy Yuuri read me a story," Greta said. She was really happy to finally a zombie father. Yuuri grabbed the book, opened it and began to read, "brrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiins,moooooooooooo, brrrrrrrr, hhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa."

Greta frowned. "That is not what the book says," she said. Yuuri continued to read in zombie language. '_Serves her right_' he thought

Conrart then said, "Your Majesty zombies can only moan and say brains."

"Ooooh!" Greta said.

"If you want someone to read to you, then you need a mommy," said Yozak as he approached Greta.

Greta put her royal finger to her chin and said, "I WANT A MOMMY! I DON'T WANT A ZOMBIE DADDY ANYMORE!" She stamped her foot on the floor. (Yuuri swore he heard Wolfram and Murata snicker.)

"We can remedy that," said Conrart.

"We can take Zombie Daddy Yuuri to Anissina and turn him into Mommy Yuuri," said Yozak.

"Make it so!" ordered Greta. And so, Yuuri once again was dragged away to Anissina's lab. As he was being dragged out of the throne room, Yuuri saw Wolfram fall of his chair and squirm on the floor laughing whilst Murata was hunched over the throne chair also laughing his butt off.

***ATM***

Yuuri was awakened by soft lips on his. He opened his to see Yozak dressed in a shiny armour. The armour was so shiny that it blinded Yuuri for a second. Then Yuuri realised something rather important, "WHAT THE HECK! YOU KISSED ME!" He began spitting and wiping his lips.

"YUURI! YOU JUST RUINED THE SCENE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER THE QUEEN!" Wolfram yelled.

"He is your Knight in Shinning Armour – Mummy Yuuri. Just like in Sleeping Beauty," Greta pouted.

Yuuri could care less if he had ruined the kissing scene from Sleeping Ugly! He jumped out of bed and fell flat on his face. What the freaking ·%&&%$&·% was he wearing? Yuuri had on a very frilly pale blue long fru-fru dress with silver stars on the skirt and at the end of the long sleeves. He had tripped over the hem of the dress when he jumped up. He looked at his feet. He had matching pale blue and silver shoes on.

Yozak extended a hand to help him up, but Yuuri swatted the hand away. He rose from the floor himself, marched over to a full length mirror, and looked at himself. He had on make-up including fake eyelashes. His black hair was extremely long. He pulled on his hair and realised that it was not a wig he was wearing, but he was wearing sewn in hair extensions. "Don't you look lovely Mummy Yuur?" Greta asked.

The door opened and Conrart came in. "Your Majesty I have it," he said. 'It' went FLASH, and another FLASH! Yuuri turned slowly around and saw what Conrart had in his hand, Murata's bleeping digital camera. "Say cheeeeessseee Yuuri," Conrart said as he took some more pictures.

Yuuri only said ten things, "Ten – nine – eight – seven – six – …"

"Oooo, he can count backwards," Yozak said.

"Five - …" a dark aura started to surround Yuuri

Wolfram stepped foreward. "Yuuri calm down, you are doing this for your daughter the Maou."

"Four - …" Yuuri's hair reached the floor.

"Yuuri, you need to calm down before someone gets hurt," Wolfram insisted. Conrart and Yozak grabbed Greta by the shoulders.

"THREE…" Thunder could be heard outside.

"Yuuri please stop," said a scared Greta.

"TWO…" Round eyes turned into serpent eyes.

Conrart dropped the camera and picked up Greta by the waist. They, along with Yozak and Wolfram, made a mad dash to escape.

"ONE!" A water serpent appeared and destroyed Murata's camera. Then it chased the Conrart, Yozak (who surprisingly moved extremely fast in the armour although he clunked) Wolfram, and Greta down the corridors of the castle out onto a courtyard. With a load splash it fell on the four escapees, but it did not hurt them. On the ground it left a large puddle in the shape of the word 'JUSTICE'.

Soaking wet the Queen said, "I think we really annoyed him today!" The four began to laugh. And Yozak added, "Captain we finally really annoyed him!"

"It was about time!" Conrart said.

All Wolfram could say was, "The wimp is going to get it now!"

TBC

* * *

><p>I wonder what is going to happen next.<p>

Why does this stupid site keep changing my formatting?


	13. Maou vs Maou part two

Yuuri looked at the smashed camera on the floor and smirked. His serpent eyes gleamed with vengeful justice. The occupants of Blood Pledge Castle were going to find out exactly who was the Maou! He knew he need to 'get even', but he need help. Another smirk crossed his slips when he thought of the persons that could help him. He began to laugh evilly at his own plan.

His eyes returned to normal as he formulated his plan. He tore off the dress he was wearing. His hair returned to its previous length. He pulled on it to remove the extensions, but the would not come off. He went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of scissors. He cut the hair shoulder length. He looked in the mirror and noticed that he looked awesome with shoulder length hair. He went to his closet, and pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt. He put the clothing on along with a pair of trainers. When he finished clothing himself he left the room.

He was marching down the corridor towards his destination when he heard Wolfram call him out, but he ignored him. Yuuri continued down his path with determination. "YUURI WERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!" Wolfram barked.

Yuuri stopped, slowly turned around, noticed Wolfram, Greta, Yozak, and Conrart (all soaking wet) looking at him, and with a smile said, "Why I am going home! See ya!" He turned around and continued down the corridor towards the baths.

"Yuuri! You can't go home!" Greta cried out.

"YUURI STOP!" Wolfram yelled. Yuuri ignored him as he open the door to the baths.

"AS YOUR QUEEN I ORDER YOU TO STOP!" Greta yelled. Yuuri ignored her as he jumped into the bath and disappeared.

Wolfram was about to jump in after him but Conrart held him back. "Let him go Wolfram. He'll be back," Conrart said.

"Maybe we took it to far," Greta said.

Conrart patted Greta on the head, "He'll be back." Conrart and Yozak looked at each other and winked.

***ATM***

A regal mazoku looked out of his glass tower towards his privately owned alpine lake. The lake shimmered. "Shouri," Bob called out.

Shouri stepped beside Bob. "Yes Bob?" Shouri looked towards the lake.

"He has arrived," Bob said.

The future Earth's Maou glasses glazed over. "I guess they are on Mission 11."

Yuuri resurfaced. He looked around and smiled. He looked up towards the blue sky above him, and then towards Bob's castle. He noticed his brother running towards the lake with a towel in hand. Yuuri began to swim towards the shore. "Yuu-chan!" Shouri called out.

"Hey Shouri." Yuuri said as he stepped out of the lake and took the towel that Shouri offered him.

"What are you doing here?" the ever so innocent older brother asked.

"Well according to the traitors, I am no longer the Maou!" Yuuri said all pissed off!

"WHAAAAT?" Shouri exaggeratedly asked.

"As you heard, I am no longer the Maou."

"FANTASTIC!" Shouri exclaimed.

Yuuri was surprised by his brother's reaction. "Why fantastic?"

"I can have you enrolled immediately in either Todai, Waseda, Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Yale …" Shouri continued to list top world universities whilst Yuuri stared at him dumbfounded.

When the arrived at Bob's office, Yuuri's annoyance had began to rise again. He had attempted to tell Shouri what had happened the past few weeks, but Shouri had just rambled on about universities and completely ignoring what Yuuri had to say.

Bob was sitting behind his desk. When Yuuri and Shouri entered the office, Bob looked towards Yuuri and rose from his chair. "It is a pleasure to see you again Your Majesty," Bob said.

Before Yuuri could return Bob's greeting Shouri said, "Yuu-chan is no longer the Maou."

"I see," Bob said. "Who is the new Maou?"

Yuuri responded with spite, "They made Greta the Maou. Can you beli.." He was cut off by Bob and Shouri exclaiming, "WHAT A FANTASTIC CHOICE!"

"Uh?"

Shouri said to Bob, "I bet she is going to make Shin Makoku all sparkly!"

To which Bob responded, "I'll have to send her a gift. How does a fuscia lamée dress sound?" Shouri nodded his head. Shouri and Bob both clasped their hands and began twirling around the office. A disco ball dropped out of the ceiling. 20 of Bob's bodyguards dressed in Robin Hood outfits came into the office. A stage rose from the floor. On it was Sharon and Jose, and both were wearing white jumps suits. Music started to blare from the walls, disco lights began to flash, the disco ball began to rotate, the Robin Hood bodyguards began to dance, and Sharon and Jose began to sing:

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
>Ooo.. see that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the Dancing Queen<p>

Friday night and the lights are low  
>Looking out for the place to go<br>Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
>You come to look for a king<br>Anybody could be that guy  
>Night is young and the music's high<br>With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
>You're in the mood for a dance<br>And when you get the chance

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
>Dancing Queen, feel the beat, from the tambourine oh yeah<br>You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
>Ooo.. see that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the Dancing Queen …<p>

Yuuri stood perplexed. He was so stunned by what he was seeing that his brain had almost come to a complete stop. When the music finished, the stage disappeared, the dancers left and Bob and Shouri walked over to Bob's desk and began to look over documents. Yuuri was about to turn around and leave when Shouri called out. "Yuu-chan, if you don't want to go to any of the universities that I recommended, you can always work for us."

"We do have a job opening," Bob added.

"We are planning to create an express messenger service," Shouri explained.

"We are calling it the Lovey Dovey service."

"All you'll have to do is deliver love messages," Shouri said.

"Whilst you wear this adorable costume," Bob said as he pulled out from nowhere a white dove costume. On the breast was a large bright red heart.

Yuuri said one word. "Traitors" He walked back to the lake, entered it, and opened a portal. The only two persons that would have listened to his plight…WERE IN ON IT!

***ATM***

Yuuri resurfaced in the castle baths. No one was there waiting for him. He left the bath a walked to the treasury room. There he found Morgif and took the sword from it's resting place. The sword moaned in delight since Yuuri was paying it a visit.

Yuuri walked towards the dinning room and threw the door open. Everyone was seated at the dinning table eating. Greta was seated in her regular spot. His usual chair was empty. He walked over to the table and threw his dinnerware towards Greta's feet. "PICK IT UP!" Yuuri snapped at Greta.

"Shibuya! There is no need for that," said Murata as he rose from his chair.

"OH REALLY?"

"You're scarring Greta! How dare you!" Wolfram reprimanded Yuuri.

"Shibuya you are the Maou. We just wanted to know what type of ruler Greta would be."

"And she will be a formidable queen in the future, so sit down and eat your dinner Your Majesty," Gwendal said. The people at the table continued with their small chat as if nothing had happened. Sangria placed clean dinnerware at Yuuri's place. Yuuri shook his head. He decided that if he can't beat them might as well join them.

He was about to sit down when Wolfram snapped at him again. "Yuuri! Really! You're soaking wet! Do you want to get the chair all wet? Go and get changed. Really. What a wimp!"

* * *

><p>I have decided to annoy Yuuri some more. It is just so much fun.<p>

To all those readers who felt sorry for Yuuri, don't be. Think of why Bob and Shouri sent Conrart the list.


	14. Double Double O

Mission 12: Spies, Spies, Everywhere Spies.

All had been quiet on the 'Annoy the Maou' front. Yuuri figured that after their last exploit Conrart and Yozak were going to keep quiet for a few days. A week had passed, but Yuuri had not let his guard down. Ten days passed and nothing had occurred. But, Yuuri still did not let his guard down.

On the twelfth day, Yuuri was happily plucking away 'Conrart Stands Upon Earth' in Celi's garden. His personal mole had come up to him with a watering can. "Your Majesty should not pluck those flowers in such a vengeful manner," said Yuuri's secret special agent.

"But it is such a great stress reliever," Yuuri said.

"I understand, but you will end up leaving holes in the garden," the secret agent said.

Yuuri looked around the garden. Indeed signs of his frustration with his so called god-father showed. He let out a sigh. "Maybe you're right. I could change to the Beautiful Wolframs?"

"I brought a watering can full of water. Let me pour some water over the flowers so they can grow. Then you can pluck your heart away," said the mole sweetly.

Yuuri smirked as he moved out of the mole's way. The mole began to tend to the flowers. Barely moving his mouth he whispered, "Have you heard anything?"

"Tonight, whilst you are sleeping," the mole said while watering the flowers.

Yuuri bent down again and touched a Secretive Gwendal. "Do you know what the plan is?"

"All that I am aware is that they are to drag 'Eagle' out of bed. Do you know what the means?"

"I do. I will need you to dress up in that special outfit that I requested you to get. Be on standby for when it goes down."

"As you order Your Majesty."

"Thank you for your hard word Special Agent Green."

"At Your Majesty's service." Special Agent Green bowed and left.

***ATM***

In the shadows of the castle figures stealthily moved towards the king's private chambers. None of the patrolling guards noticed six figures, clad in earthen black suits, as they danced, hid, jumped over, and did odd acrobatics all the whilst pointing black water guns at armours, vases, and paintings.

Specal Agent Orange slid down the corridor to the king's door. He knelt down on one leg and pointed his gun right, left, up, down, foreward, back to the right and then to the left. The coast was clear. He signalled, using extreamly fancy finger gestures, his comrades. The other five special agents silently met up with Special Agent Orange. Agent Bishonen slightly opened the door. He entered the room followed by Hazelnut, Snow, Orange, Wise, and a new member Special Agent Curly. The agents crept up the royal bed.

Special Agent Hazelnut placed his hand over the king's mouth when…it was not the king but an inflatable doll! He pulled back the covers. All the agents gasped. The doll wore light blue pyjamas and a black wig. They began looking around the darken room. Special Agent Bishonen ran to the window and opened the heavy curtains. Moonlight streamed into the room.

A cough come from a moonlit corner. The special agents slowly turned in the direction of the cough. Seated in a large, elegant, wing back chair was the target. He was wearing an Armani tuxedo – bow tie and all. Seated elegantly on one of the chair's arm was Special Agent Green. She wore a 'Lady Celi' style green velvet dress. The slit of the dress ran all the way up her thigh. Green stilettos complimented her dress.

The agents let out gasps, not because of the fact the Yuuri was all dressed up and had an accomplice, but because both Yuuri and Gisrla were holding paintball pistols. Yuuri had the Bob Long M-TAC Stage 2 gun and the mole had the BT Delta Elite Tactical Marker gun. The agents looked at their wimpy water guns knowing they had no chance against the to paintball pistols.

"Well, well Double O'Green, what do we have here?" Yuuri said.

Double O'Green (formerly none as Special Agent Green) rose from her sitting position and pointed her gun at the intruders. "Well I must say they seem to be some annoying intruders, Double O'Black," she replied.

Double O'Black rose from his chair. He also pointed his gun at the intruders. "The name is Shibuya, Yuuri Shibuya!" Yuuri said to the intruders. He shot his gun off at Special Agent Hazelnut whilst Double O'Green shot Special Agent Orange.

Too stun for words, Hazelnut and Orange did not notice the smell until Special Agent Bishonen shouted, "Abort mission…THEY ARE SHOOTING BEARBEE PAINT!"

The six special agents ran towards the exit. They were not shot upon by the two Double O agents. Double O'Black did not want the smell of bearbee paint in his room afterall. Once the special agents ran out of the room, Double O'Black and Double O'Green gave chase and cornered the Special Agents in the front garden. Although the Special Agents shot off their water guns they were no match to the paintball guns. In the end the special agents, including Double O'Black's daughter and significant other: Special Agents Curly and Bishonen, were covered in green and black bearbee paint.

Happy with their handy work the two Doble O agents turned and entered the castle. Double O'Black whistled the Bond theme.

Special Agent Wise glasses glazed. All he saw was a view to a kill.

Mission to annoy the Maou: a complete and utter disastrous failure! In addition: one week woarth of bathing to remove the bearbee paint smell.

* * *

><p>As per everyone request - Yuuri got one on them.<p> 


	15. Who's the fairest of them all

Mission 13: Mr. Blood Pledge Castle.

Yuuri thought that maybe he and Gisela went over board with the paint guns. Gisela replied "NAHHHH!"

To which Yuuri answered with a demonic laugh, "Your right!"

A week had gone by since Double O Black had shot down the secret service agents. No annoying irritations had occurred. Yuuri thought to himself, actually he knew, that they were up to something, and the something had to do something with his annoying brat of a partner. Wolfram had not been around him that much for the past week.

Yuuri was going over documents by himself in his office. The door swung open and Wolfram entered. Yuuri looked up from what he was reading and saw Wolfram march over to him. Wolfram grabbed hold of Yuuri and pulled him out of his chair. "Oi Wolfram!" Yuuri yelped as he hit his knee on the desk's edge.

"Quit your crying wimp! Let's go!"

"Go where?" Yuuri asked trying to shake himself free from Wolfram.

"To the village of course!"

Yuuri pulled back. To the village? Since when did Wolfram voluntarily take him to the village? Never! Something was up. Yuuri broke free from Wolfram and crossed his arms across his chest. "So what is so important that I have to go to the village?"

"There is a contest at the village which you must attend," Wolfram said.

"Forget it I am not going!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I am not!"

"Yes you are, unless you want Weller or Gunter or Yozak to win!"

"Fine! Weller or Gunter or Yozak or whomever can win!"

"You wimp. You can't let one of them be known as the best looking male at Blood Pledge Castle!"

"OH Yesss…Best looking?" What sort of contest was taking place? "What is this contest?" Yuuri asked.

"Weller made me paint a portrait of him, one of Yozak, one of Gunter, and a self portrait of me."

"What about Murata and Gwendal?"

"They abstained."

"So what are the portraits for?"

"Well if you come to the village you will see," Wolfram said and he dragged Yuuri away with him.

***ATM***

Yuuri and Wolfram walked side by side through the village. They arrived at the centre market place to see the market devoid of stalls. Instead, surrounding the central fountain were five large portraits placed on stages. Standing in front of each portrait was the actual person and a box. At the entrance of the market area was a table. Murata was seated behind the table, and he gave out tokens to the villagers. A banner hung above Murata which read:

**MR. BLOOD PLEDGE CASTLE CONTEST**

Place your token in the box of the best looking gentleman.

Yuuri looked at the first portrait: Gunter. The portrait of Gunter was amazing. Wolfram had captured Günter's magnificent features perfectly. Wolfram had painted him standing on top of hill looking off into the horizon. His hair floated in the unseen breeze. Gunter was standing in front of his portrait holding a bouquet of daisies. Mostly women were standing in front of Gunter ogling at him. Dunk, dunk, went the tokens into Günter's box.

Next was Conrart. Just like Günter's, the portrait was amazing. Wolfram had painted Conrart leaning, nonchalantley, against a corinthian column. His perfect white smile sparkled with stars. Standing before the portrait was the man himself. He smiled and winked at the women. The women swooned. Dunk, dunk went the tokens into Conrart's box.

Yozak was next. "He insisted!" Wolfram said. Wolfram had painted Yozak standing at an edge of the water fountain wearing the YMCA Native American outfit. Water cascaded behind him. "Yozak said he really liked that outfit," Wolfram explained. The real Yozak stood in front of his portrait showing of his biceps. The biceps were a huge hit with the men. Dunk, dunk went the tokens into Yozak´s box.

Before they reached the next portrait, Yuuri finally realised something rather important. "Uh Wolf?"

"Yes Yuuri?"

"You said you painted those portraits?"

"Yes Yuuri I did."

Yuuri gritted his teeth. "Then how come you always paint me in that weird style of yours?"

Wolfram shook his head. "Yuuri, those portraits are simple peasant paintings," Wolfram explained as he pointed to Gunter, Conrart, and Yozak. "How could I ever paint you in such an uneducated, unnoble, and unmajestic way? That would be severely insulting to your persona!" Wolfram huffed.

Yuuri decided to forgo any further argument. He stepped over to look at the next painting. The next painting was surrounded by all the bishonen and young ladies of the village. Yuuri took a good look at it. Wolfram had painted himself sitting on his white steed. Wolfram looked like a prince from fairy tales. Yuuri once again gritted his teeth. "Wolfram? Why did you not paint yourself in a more noble way?"

"Conrart insisted that I use the peasant way. I can't believe I have to stand in front of such a horrendous! How embarrassing!" Wolfram said as he got up on stage. He shook his head and finger flicked his bangs. Mostly all that were standing in front of him fainted. Dunk, dunk went the tokens into Wolfram´s box.

"Yuuri, you better get up on your stage," Wolfram said as he pointed to the last stage.

Yuuri looked over and saw people looking at a portrait and then hastily making a run for it. Yuuri walked over and saw his name on the stage. He looked up at the portrait and… "GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The background was lime green. The nose was down by the left hand corner. An eye popped out of one hand. The other hand was holding a eggplant. A foot was coming out of what looked like to be Yuuri's head. All in all it was a true Wolfram von Bielefeld signature portrait. To say the least there was NO dunk, dunk of tokens into Yuuri's box.

"Conrart and Yozak picked that portrait out. He said that it was the best portrait of you! I happen to agree," Wolfram said truthfully. "Do you like it?"

Yuuri knew that Wolfram really and honestly thought that the portrait was best and most beautiful. Yuuri got up on stage and smiled. _'The things you do for loved ones,'_ he thought. He would get his revenge on the two annoyances.

Mission objective annoy the Maou: Successful.

_Epilogue:_

Winner of Best Looking Man by a flick of a bicep: Yozak!

Wolfram, Günter, and Conrart had not catered to the male population. They had split the female and bishonen tokens.

Yozak received all the male tokens and some female.

Yuuri received two tokens courtesy of Wolfram and one from and old women who took pity on him. His daughter gave her token to her other father.


	16. Bouquets of Jealousy

Mission 14: Make the Maou jealous.

Conrart and Yozak snickered over the next mission. It was going to be fun!

Yuuri, Wolfram, Greta, Conrart, Gwendal, and Celi were having breakfast in the royal dinning room. The main door opened and a soldier entered with a large bouquet of white roses. Everyone froze. Conrart innocently gasped. Gwendal's eye began to tick. All thoughts, upon seeing the bouquet, were the same. They hoped the rose were not for Yuuri. Let the dinning room not be burned. The soldier spoke up. "These flowers have just arrived for Lord Wolfram von Bielfeld.

"UH?" was the general response from everyone. Mostly everyone was relieved that the flowers were not for Yuuri. The exception of course were Yuuri and Wolfram.

Yuuri wondered who had the audacity to send flowers to Wolfram. It was a well know fact the Wolfram belonged to him! And, to HIM ALONE!

Wolfram on the other hand was flattered. Yuuri had sent him roses. He blushed. He walked over to the soldier and took the roses from him. He heard Yuuri say, "Well who are they from?" Wolfram turned to look at Yuuri and noticed that Yuuri had a scowl on his face. "They're not from you?"

"No! I did not send you those flowers. So who is sent you those tacky flowers?"

Wolfram felt a little offended. Yuuri could have at least said that he would have sent a larger bouquet or something to the sort. He looked inside the bouquet for a card and there was none. He asked the soldier, "Who brought these flowers? Was there a card or letter with them?"

"The florist delivered them and there was no card."

"Well at least there is not stupid letter with them," Yuuri mumbled.

Before lunch time a bouquet of purple lilies arrived for Wolfram. The were delivered to the Maou's office. Once again there was no card. The Maou was irritated.

After lunch, a single red rose was delivered. Slight steam could be seen rising form Yuuri's ears.

Mid afternoon another bouquet of flowers arrived. Once again they was no card. Yuuri was furious and Wolfram was flattered, but yet afraid the Yuuri would eventually blow-up. Gunter had been witness to the arrival of the latest bouquet. He half handily said, "Very curious. When His Majesty received his bouquet from his secret admire at least there was a poem." Both Yuuri and Wolfram looked at Gunter. Gunter looked at the to young demons and noticed the Yuuri had a relieved look and Wolfram had a disappointed look. Yuuri said, "And we know who sent those. Will you excuses us Gunter?"

Gunter left. Yuuri asked "Do you want the black or the green?"

"I have sky blue bearbee paint already mixed," Wolfram answered and left.

Before dinner time Yuuri requested that Conrart and Yozak attend an emergency meeting about Big Cimeron. When Conrart and Yozak entered the office, Yuuri was seated behind his desk. Gwendal was looking out the window. Wolfram was standing, with his hands behind is back, behind Yuuri.

"What is going on with Big Cimmeron?" Conrart asked. The next thing he and Yozak heard were the firing of paintball pistols. Wolfram had been holing a pistol behind his back. Yuuri had pulled his out from under the desk. Conrart and Yozak were splattered with black and sky blue bearbee paint. Quietly they left the office as Gwendal not once turned to look at them.

"Double O Black, Double O Blue you do realise that an unspoken declaration of war has just been announced."

"Quite aware G," Double O Black said.

"I'll have A investigate other weaponry for you," G said. G, courageously, left the office on his way to see A.

The two Double O agents looked at each other. The line had been drawn. An all out war between MI6 (Maou's Intelligence Section 6) and the CIA (Conrart's Intelligence Agency).

Mission Objective: Successful to a certain point.

Epilogue 1: Special Agent Brown and Special Agent Orange made there merry way to see Special Agent Wise.

Epilogue 2: MI6 recruited Double O Brown. She knew better than to go against her fathers.

Final Epilogue: The mysterious missions would now be conducted under the strict supervision of the CIA.

* * *

><p>I have been having fun writing Yuuri as a Double O agent. I was thinking of making Wolfram take Moneypenny's position, but I thought of someone much better.<p>

This is the end to Annoying the Maou series. There well be sequel is entitled: MI6 vs CIA.


End file.
